It’s difficult to believe that I’m approaching my tenth anniversary on social media. Some might actually call me a late arrival to the scene. Nevertheless, I am selective about with whom I connect and am never hesitant to unfriend or block someone. For me, it’s more about the quality of my connections, rather than the quantity.

Admittedly, I initially opted to create an account on Facebook to be able to keep up with what my kids were doing. Silly me, I had no idea that there was this thing called a “friend request” and that without one, it would be nearly impossible to view their non-public activity. Of course, in order to keep adults at bay, they were wise enough to make most of their posts for their friends’ eyes only.

The first five years of my social media activity involved friends and family interaction primarily. You know, casual stuff. Yet, having been an etiquette skills instructor once upon a time, I began to observe some behaviors that would occasionally strike a nerve. Because I have learned to pick my battles in life, especially on social media, I chose to ignore most of these annoyances.

However, in 2015, having founded a new company, my social media presences and activity increased, and the focus became more business-related than casual. My connections grew, and it felt as if I had gained a ton of new associates, albeit virtually.

I undoubtedly credit social media for the increased presence of my brand and hence the continued growth of my business. Indeed, I enjoy the ease with which information can be obtained, and connections can be established. However, I remain amazed by the indifferent manner in which some people take for granted what I deem to be their “social media currency.” Yes, there are moments when I would be more than happy to dispense with the frequency of my social media usage. Newsflash! Too much social media can be toxic to the mind, body, and soul. All the more reason why I periodically engage in a social media detox as a form of self-care. I simply log off all or most platforms for days at a time. The more often you practice this, the easier it becomes.

As it is with most things in life, we each have our own pet peeves. However, in this fast-paced, competitive environment that we exist, have we kicked common courtesy to the curb? Does access to social media make etiquette & protocol a thing of the past? Is it sheer ignorance or blatant disregard for others that cause some people to do the things that they do?

Initially, I thought that possibly, I was being overly sensitive, however, when engaging in conversation with other fellow entrepreneurs; I would hear some of the same concerns and frustrations. Patience had run thin with individuals who had become viewed as a social media pest.

Been unfriended, blocked, or simply ignored? Want to maximize your social media relationships? If “YES,” I’ve compiled some recommended dos and don’ts to assist you when navigating and networking online:

Your first connection with someone on social media SHOULD NOT involve:

A SALES PITCH, A REQUEST FOR A DONATION OR ANY TYPE OF SOLICITATION

Make an effort to get to know the individual somewhat before expecting them to support one of your initiatives or make a purchase.

A REQUEST FOR A “PICK YOUR BRAIN SESSION.”

Success requires sacrifice. The knowledge that you want to pick from an entrepreneur’s brain (usually for free), probably cost that individual a hefty price to acquire. Respect the hustle and take measures to establish a genuine connection before asking for information, especially that which you expect to receive at no or minimal cost.

REPETITIVE, INTRUSIVE BEHAVIORS

Including but not limited to daily casual messenger/direct message contact. Examples would include sending messages requesting that something be forwarded for good luck, to 10 of your friends, etc., adding people to groups without consent, tagging people in posts unnecessarily. If you have never clicked “like” or commented on someone’s post, how can you consider it OK to tag him or her in a post about your upcoming project or event?

Regardless of your relationship with an individual or the longevity of your connection, you SHOULD consider the following:

DO INTERACT, SHARE, LIKE, AND/OR COMMENT ON THEIR POSTS PERIODICALLY

If your contact only occurs when you need something from a person, do not be surprised if you hear crickets in response to your requests for assistance.

BE OF SERVICE, BEFORE EXPECTING TO RECEIVE IT

Make referrals and initiate introductions of like-minded people. However, be sure to make contact with the individuals separately to ask for their permission first. For a variety of reasons, not everyone may be open to the idea. Share relevant information that may be of use to your connections. However, do keep in mind that just because it’s of interest to you does not make it of interest to someone else. This practice of sharing is most effective when you actually follow the individual on social media, observe their posted content and know what actually may interest them.

SEND A NOTE OF THANKS FOR A CONNECTION

Taking 10 seconds to do this is recommended especially if you are the individual initiating the contact and have hopes of doing business with them in the future.

All healthy relationships require nurturing, whether on or offline. Stop treating social media like speed dating. Hit it and quit it interactions can be costly. The more professional you are in your communication with people, the more value your “social media currency” will become. The more valuable your “social media currency” is, the more likely your chances of establishing collaborative business relationships and the more likely you will not be one of the friends deleted when an influencer’s maximum connection number has been reached.

Jacqueline Miller is a certified life coach, speaker, author, grief support facilitator, writer and career and leadership consultant for high-achieving women. A former senior human resources executive, she is also skilled in helping leading-edge organizations to boost their success factor, by delivering essential business and soft skills training workshops, designed to cultivate a workforce of high-performing talent. Follow me on Medium.